maanantai 5. joulukuuta 2016

Luovan kirjoittamisen kurssilta: I'll Keep Listening

// Haluan jakaa teille tähän yhden tekstin, jonka kirjoitin englannin luovan kirjoittamisen kurssilla. Teksti on tietenkin englanniksi ilmeisistä syistä.

The sky was full of black birds circling above me. Yesterday my therapist told me that it’s not possible to miss a feeling that you have never experienced. If you miss it, you have felt it.

The birds placed themselves on the powerlines like notes. I wondered what kind of melody they would make, but I never learnt how to read music, not really, not like you. No one ever was quite like you. You with your hair always out of order, just like everything about you, a hair like ruffled feathers. 

I miss you quite a lot actually, who would’ve believed? Sometimes I’m almost sure I dreamt you and you never existed at all. I’m not sure which thought seems less impossible; a universe that can contain something like you or a universe you never were a part of. But my therapist says you can’t miss something you didn’t experience, and my dear, you were an experience. I’m rambling again, I know you hated that.

I’m sorry.

Now there are black winged birds in my apple trees, like they’re trying to replace the leafs long dead. The sky is grey like it always is and I’ve forgotten how it feels to be warm. The birds are staring at me through the glass, are you one of them? These judgmental feathery leafs like death omens right outside. No, you’re not one of them, I should know.

These curtains in my kitchen windows are hideous. I should never have let you pick them, but the birds are staring at me now and I can’t let them keep looking at me like that.

Will you ever come for me?

And the saddest part is I keep listening to the wind and sometimes it sounds exactly like you complaining how we’ve always ran out of milk when you want to eat cereal.

My therapist says I’m doing great.

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